(Lu Qingyu's Perspective) The first time I saw that little girl named Song Yiyi was the day she came home with Shen Jiayue.

　　Shen Jiayue smiled indulgently and ruffled her hair.

　　I was momentarily stunned.

　　How long has it been since Shen Jiayue smiled at me like that? He used to smile a lot, but I don't know when it began, when we were together, he stopped smiling.

　　It was probably when he first caught me with another man outside.

　　I can't remember.

　　He seemed really happy.

　　I don't know why, but I felt a bit uncomfortable.

　　Shen Jiayue sometimes goes out to find other women, I know that, and I know he does it to provoke me, so I don't care.

　　But this time, it feels a bit different.

　　After returning home, I intentionally took off my jacket in the living room, revealing the red marks left on my chest by Chen Xiangheng.

　　In the past, these marks would drive Shen Jiayue to the brink of collapse.

　　He would explode in anger, curse at me, smash everything he could find, and then smoke alone in silence until late at night.

　　I used to resent this.

　　Once a person gains power, desire becomes inseparable.

　　Those men fought to get close to me, but I couldn't refuse them all.

　　I'm not a saint.

　　Besides, many people around me are like this, so why can't he tolerate it like everyone else? At first, I felt a bit sorry for him when I saw how upset he was.

　　I felt like I owed him something after all these years together.

　　But later, I became numb to it.

　　The angrier he got, the more annoyed I became.

　　But today, he acted as if he didn't see anything, holding his phone with a smile that never faded.

　　I deliberately walked in front of him, but he furrowed his brow and went back to his room with his phone.

　　Something doesn't seem right.

　　But I comforted myself.

　　It must be one of his tricks, a way to keep me captivated.

　　Shen Jiayue loves me so much.

　　He can't live without me.

　　...

　　Until Shen Jiayue brought up divorce, I felt like something had slipped out of my control.

　　Unlike before, this time Shen Jiayue divided the assets clearly.

　　It's obvious he had been planning this for a long time.

　　I asked him if he was serious about that little boy.

　　He admitted it.

　　"Yeah." In that moment, I heard something explode in my heart.

　　In an instant, all thoughts of doing our own thing, of not interfering with each other, were cast aside.

　　I grabbed him firmly; he knows me too well, he must have seen the fear in my eyes.

　　I gritted my teeth and threatened him, "Dream on if you want a divorce!" How could Shen Jiayue possibly divorce me?! How could we possibly divorce?! How could he even think of leaving me? The thought of him falling in love with another woman suddenly made my heart ache, as if I had been stabbed unexpectedly.

　　I opened my mouth, but found that I couldn't breathe.

　　Strangely, in that moment, what I thought was: Heartache is actually this kind of feeling.

　　So, this is how it felt for him before.

　　...

　　I want to reason with Shen Jiayue.

　　He's not a fool, he should know that being with me is the best.

　　I admit that I may have gone too far before, and I will restrain myself in the future.

　　I had thought of many ways to approach the conversation, but in that moment when I saw the kiss marks on his neck, I forgot everything.

　　At that moment, I wanted to smash everything! I wanted to question him about what he really wanted! I even thought about stabbing him with a knife, and then stabbing myself! How could he betray me?! How could he betray me like this?! Just a few months ago, he couldn't sleep because I didn't come home at night, and now, within a few months, he has fallen in love with someone else?! And all he did was sneer at me and ask, "What, don't you recognize this feeling when it happens to someone else?" In that moment, I suddenly couldn't find the words to say.

　　Yes, it was me who said we shouldn't interfere with each other.

　　And it was me who cheated first.

　　What right do I have to blame him? Isn't this what I wanted? Those young and vibrant bodies came and went by my side, and I was obsessed with that fresh feeling.

　　The boys looked at me in awe, kneeling down to please me.

　　They never saw me at my lowest.

　　It's not that I liked them, but rather that I liked the perfect image of myself reflected in their eyes.

　　Unlike the way Shen Jiayue sees me.

　　He accompanied me through the toughest days and witnessed all my lows.

　　I know I shouldn't be like this.

　　But every time I'm with him, a voice in my head reminds me of my past.

　　He would bring up past events after an argument, trying to change my mind.

　　He doesn't know that those are the things I hate the most.

　　I have succeeded.

　　I wanted to sever my failed past.

　　Including him...

　　I didn't sleep all night.

　　The moment I closed my eyes, the kiss marks on Shen Jiayue's neck appeared before me.

　　I couldn't help but think about it.

　　His addictive appearance.

　　Him embracing that woman.

　　Him being intimate with other women.

　　Each image was like a knife, cutting away pieces of my heart.

　　But I couldn't control myself.

　　When dawn was breaking, I wiped the corners of my eyes.

　　It was damp and cold.

　　Oh, I cried.

　　I couldn't help but laugh out loud, the more I laughed, the louder it became.

　　Is this retribution? The tears that Shen Jiayue shed because of me would eventually flow from my own eyes.

　　Now I understand how important he is to me.

　　He is already in my bones, every movement is a bloody ache.

　　It's just that before, he never left.

　　I never knew...

　　Shen Jiayue seems determined to divorce.

　　I pretended to agree and said I wanted to meet that woman.

　　I want him to see the difference between us.

　　What can a girl with dyed hair give him? He's just like me, indulging in a moment of freshness.

　　I want to take a chance; he will change his mind.

　　We have been together for so many years, entangled with each other.

　　If we were to separate, we would both have to cut off countless pieces of flesh.

　　He will understand.

　　I didn't expect Chen Xiangheng to drive over.

　　He was just someone I fooled around with when I was bored.

　　I said I liked him, but I didn't really mean it.

　　It's just that he looks a bit like Shen Jiayue.

　　I liked it when he looked at me with those eyes that resembled Shen Jiayue's, with a mesmerized and pleasing expression.

　　I don't want to entangle myself with him anymore.

　　I didn't expect him to be so extreme.

　　In that moment, before I could react, my body lunged forward.

　　I could only see Shen Jiayue.

　　Before darkness descended, two fleeting thoughts crossed my mind.

　　He's okay, that's good.

　　He has chosen that woman in the end...

　　During those three days of unconsciousness, I kept dreaming.

　　Dreams are my first half of life.

　　And Shen Jiayue.

　　From his youthfulness wearing a school uniform, to later squatting at the subway entrance and sharing a portion of cool noodles with me, to his joyful appearance at his wedding.

　　In the end, he sat paralyzed amidst a mess, looking at me with hatred in his eyes.

　　I must have caused him a lot of pain, I think.

　　He was always someone who loved to smile.

　　What did I do? Suddenly, I feel a lot of pain, struggling to open my eyes.

　　When I saw Shen Jiayue again, I agreed to get a divorce.

　　Uttering those words was even more painful than I had imagined.

　　In an instant, I felt like I could barely hold on.

　　But he probably wanted to leave me.

　　I had caused him so much pain for so long.

　　Should I continue to hold onto him and refuse to let go? I want to see him smile.

　　Even if it's not directed at me.

　　So, I force a smile and pretend to be at ease, saying, "It's alright, just go far away with your little lover, don't let me see you, it's annoying." He looked at me for a long time, and finally, his lips curled up.

　　"Alright." I wanted to beg him, ask him not to leave.

　　Shen Jiayue, don't leave me.

　　I can give you anything you want, please don't go.

　　I longed for him to turn back and look at me one more time.

　　But he never looked back.

　　I finally understood, he really no longer loves me.

　　If this is the happiness you want, then it's okay.

　　Just go like this, leaving all the entanglements with me.

　　Because this is my retribution.

　　I suddenly understood, this is the punishment he has given me.

　　I will spend the rest of my life sinking in the memories he left me.