Chen Yuan's narration (5)—— Do you remember what I said at the beginning? I said, I've also studied psychology, and real psychology isn't as useless as this.

　　When I was in the third year of junior high school, I studied psychology at Dr.

　　Yang's clinic and applied it to myself.

　　I constantly examined my inner self and finally discovered that Zhou Hongxin was the root of my problem.

　　As long as I resolve Zhou Hongxin, I can alleviate the pain that has persisted since childhood.

　　But every stage of life will bring about new pain, and many things are only understood years later, long after that period has passed.

　　I can understand the past, but I can't make sense of the present because I'm still deeply trapped in it.

　　When I just started high school, due to a failed attempt to run away from home, my relationship with my mother became strained.

　　During that time, whenever I had free time, I would go to the clinic to learn from Dr.

　　Yang or go to the orphanage with Ah Yuan.

　　I simply didn't want to go home.

　　I tried to avoid my mother as much as possible, not wanting to see her.

　　Those directly involved are often confused, while onlookers see clearly.

　　I always believed that I loathed my mother, but Ah Yuan saw through my facade with just one glance.

　　Ah Yuan asked me why I only told my father about the childhood sexual abuse and not my mother.

　　I didn't answer.

　　Ah Yuan then asked why, before I ran away at 16 years old, I made sufficient preparations, so it should have been difficult for the police to find me, but why was I caught and brought back after only three days? I still didn't answer.

　　The answers to these two questions are actually the same, but I didn't want to admit it—because it would hurt my mother.

　　And so, I finally figured out the current dilemma.

　　Why do I still feel pain even after sorting out the childhood trauma? I could have left at 16 years old and sought revenge without continuing to attend high school.

　　Why did I choose to stay by my mother's side and suffer? Because Zhou Hongxin is my knot, and so is my mother.

　　Once upon a time, I also had a happy family, once upon a time, I was a good child.

　　However, starting from the second grade, I stopped growing and began to decay.

　　My father gave up on me, but my mother refused to let go.

　　I walked a different path from my mother, and I was rotten to the core.

　　Yet, she still treated me like a saint, trying to pull me back onto her path.

　　She entrusted me with half of her life, all in order to steer me back onto the right track.

　　I tried my best to live a normal life for her.

　　I studied hard and got into a top middle school, then a top high school.

　　But I couldn't hold on anymore.

　　I couldn't go on living the life of a normal person.

　　On my 16th birthday, I finally gathered the courage to bid farewell to my mother.

　　I told her that I had no choice and hoped that she could understand and let me go.

　　I was 16 now, old enough to bear all criminal responsibility.

　　I would take full responsibility for my actions and wouldn't involve her.

　　However, she cried and said, "How could you do this to your mother? Can't you think about your mother? I gave birth to you and raised you, it hasn't been easy..." As I distanced myself from home, I began to realize that the bond between a mother and child couldn't be easily severed.

　　It wasn't just about criminal responsibility imposed by the law; the connection ran much deeper.

　　At 16, it wasn't possible, and even at 18, it still wasn't possible.

　　The day I was brought back home by the police, my mother cried and hugged me all night.

　　I didn't shed a single tear.

　　But I told her that I had given up and that I would become a good person and stay by her side forever.

　　My mother believed me.

　　After hearing my heartfelt promise, she felt relieved and never brought up the matter again.

　　I continued going to high school, and she continued working.

　　She believed that I would never leave again and trusted me unconditionally.

　　The power of trust is truly immense.

　　As I mentioned earlier, a successful hypnosis has an important prerequisite, which is trust.

　　The reason why I couldn't accept hypnotherapy was that I couldn't trust Dr.

　　Yang.

　　Even if Dr.

　　Yang taught me psychology diligently and passed on his knowledge to me, I still couldn't trust him.

　　But Dr.

　　Yang's hypnotherapy wasn't completely useless.

　　What does my mother's unconditional trust mean? It means that I can be her psychologist.

　　I can give her subconscious suggestions in our daily lives, gradually changing her psyche.

　　Ah Yuan, from the orphanage, is the same age as me and similar in height.

　　I envy Ah Yuan for being an orphan, and Ah Yuan envies me for having a mother.

　　Our desires matched so perfectly, prompting me to embark on a daring experiment.

　　Ah Yuan was naturally overweight, and I was naturally thin.

　　Ah Yuan started to lose weight, and I tried to eat more.

　　I casually mentioned to my mother, "Mom, it seems like I've gained weight." Ah Yuan had a scar on his neck, so I purposely injured my arms and legs, telling my mother that I scratched them while falling down and tripping on a tree branch.

　　Ah Yuan got double eyelid surgery at a small clinic, and I cut my hair short and shaved my hairline.

　　I taught Ah Yuan high school knowledge, and Ah Yuan learned to speak and behave like me.

　　I reminisced about the distant past, telling Ah Yuan about how our family of three used to go to the park and about my childhood friends.

　　I shared all the beautiful memories with him but didn't mention how many bad things I had done or how my mother had traveled around and cried for me.

　　Painful memories were never brought up by my mother.

　　Ah Yuan replaced the photo in the orphanage file.

　　I also took the opportunity to burn most of the photo albums, leaving only a few childhood photos that looked somewhat like A Yuan from certain angles, which I often showed to my mother.

　　But I still felt it wasn't cautious enough.

　　The medicine prescribed to me by Dr.

　　Yang is called chlorpromazine, which has strong side effects and can easily cause people to become dull, drowsy, and develop cognitive impairments.

　　I never took it myself, but I crushed the pills and mixed a low dosage into my mother's drinking water every day, in order to confuse her senses.

　　- This method is indeed insane, but I had no other choice; my mother and I were both at a dead end.

　　In short, in my day-to-day life, I constantly gave my mother psychological suggestions, gradually blurring her subconscious impression of me and getting her accustomed to my changes.

　　A Yuan and I imitated each other, getting closer and closer, and we took turns appearing in front of my mother until she no longer doubted.

　　Throughout my high school years, I hypnotized my mother for a long period of three years, teaching her to treat A Yuan as me.

　　In the end, I took the college entrance exam instead, and I performed very well.

　　The day after the results came out was my 19th birthday.

　　That night, my mother bought a cake, prepared a large table of dishes, and drank a lot of alcohol.

　　It was just like three years ago.

　　After making a wish, I blew out the candles.

　　My mother asked what wish I made, and I said it was a blessing for you.

　　She was very happy and said that her son had prospects and that she would live a good life with me in the future, right, son? I said, yes, mother.

　　My mother smiled contentedly and fell asleep on the table.

　　I carefully examined her face, looking at it for a long time before leaving.

　　On the night of my 19th birthday, I grew up, became an adult, left home, and walked into the vast darkness without ever looking back.

　　Unlike three years ago, this time I didn't take anything with me when I left.

　　And it was A Yuan who took the acceptance letter for me.

　　I gave A Yuan my name, He Wenxi, and A Yuan gave me his real name, Chen Yuan.

　　I filled out my college choices in another province, where I would no longer have any contact with my classmates; he became an adult and could also leave the orphanage without having to go back.

　　In order to minimize any impact on him, I damaged my appearance with burns and cuts.

　　From then on, He Wenxi would only belong to him alone.

　　In the following years, we maintained a faint connection.

　　I knew he was living a good life with his mother; he went to the medical university I had chosen for him and became a doctor, settling down in a livable city.

　　The next step for him was to get married and have children, to enjoy a happy and harmonious family life, just as my mother had wished.

　　And I was able to move forward towards my own destiny without any burdens.

　　It's a strange feeling, isn't it? It's as if two parallel dimensions have merged together.

　　What I'm rewriting is not just a case, but a son's life.

　　Giving that mother a son who is worth entrusting her life to is my deepest blessing to her.