Chen Yuan's Narrative (4)—— Killing Zhou Hongxing and Ma Ming, that's a later story.

　　Let's rewind time to ten years ago.

　　When I was a child, I developed an antisocial personality due to being sexually assaulted by Zhou Hongxing.

　　My parents were at their wits' end because of my situation.

　　My father eventually gave up, but my mother persisted.

　　My mother moved us near the Xishan Prison and made me witness executions every day.

　　She also took me to see Dr.

　　Yang for therapy, but none of it was able to reform me.

　　Instead, after reading a lot of Dr.

　　Yang's psychology books, I discovered a way to be saved.

　　Before, while doing those bad things, it seemed enjoyable, but internally I was very confused.

　　Later, I understood that I could only find true liberation by killing Zhou Hongxing.

　　I was no longer confused, but I didn't tell anyone.

　　I continued studying and living calmly.

　　I excelled academically, and my teachers believed I had the potential to get into a prestigious high school.

　　My classmates and neighbors thought I was a smart and well-behaved good child, never suspecting anything wrong.

　　With my knowledge of psychology from reading the books, I often had unique insights.

　　Dr.

　　Yang, like finding a kindred spirit, enthusiastically answered my questions and doubts.

　　He even took me out to give psychology lectures, as if he was passing on his mantle to me.

　　My ordinary life was like a still lake, suppressing all the undercurrents.

　　At the age of 16, I was admitted to a prestigious high school.

　　The day I received the admission letter was also my birthday.

　　That night, my mother was very happy.

　　She bought a cake, cooked a table full of dishes, and drank a lot of alcohol.

　　And on that day, at the dinner table, I clearly told my mother that I didn't want to go to high school anymore, that I had my own things to do and had to leave.

　　But my mother was drunk and seemed not to hear.

　　That night, I ran away from home.

　　In less than three days, my mother reported me missing and found me, bringing me back.

　　She cried and accused me, 'How could you treat your mother like this? Why can't you think about your mother...' 'Your mother raised you, it's really not easy...' She was just a normal mother, expressing ordinary desires.

　　But I was not a normal child.

　　The relationship between my mother and I is structurally mismatched.

　　My mother mistakenly thinks she loves me, but she only becomes my burden; she holds onto me tightly and refuses to let go, almost suffocating me.

　　I truly cannot bear the unbearable weight of life.

　　The strings in my mind are stretched tighter and tighter, and they may break at any moment.

　　In this state, I still went to high school.

　　I'm not sure if my mother heard what I said that night, but in any case, I continued to study, and my mother continued to work as usual.

　　Every day before going to school, I would look at the West Mountain Execution Ground.

　　The scenes of the condemned prisoners being shot are as dull as repetitive commercials.

　　One day, my mother opened the window and lowered her head to water the potted orchids.

　　Suddenly, I said, "Mom, look up, someone is about to be executed, their head is going to blossom." We used to understand each other without words, but this time I exposed the truth.

　　My mother was ashamed and at a loss, but she still didn't dare to look up.

　　The sound of gunfire rang out, and I jokingly threw myself onto the bed.

　　My mother slammed the door and left.

　　During that time, the relationship between my mother and I was very tense.

　　At home, we ignored each other, but outside, we appeared affectionate.

　　My mother struggled to maintain a surface calmness, and I accompanied her in this act.

　　Such days were truly painful, and my mother's presence oppressed me greatly.

　　One time, Dr.

　　Yang went to the orphanage in town to give a lecture, and I went too.

　　At the orphanage, I met a child named A Yuan.

　　We were both 16 years old, but while the orphanage encouraged A Yuan to go out and find a job, to become self-reliant as soon as possible, I was bound by my mother and unable to leave.

　　A Yuan was interested in psychology, and we had similar interests.

　　We often discussed and became friends.

　　During my freshman year, as soon as school ended, I would run to the orphanage and spend all my time with A Yuan.

　　I would rather stay at the orphanage than go home.

　　A teacher at the orphanage joked that I treated it as my own home.